kindness costs nothing
There are three hundred religions in the world, but the psychology of all the religions is exactly the same. And the psychology is: keep man dependent, irresponsible, always hoping, praying to someone who does not exist. This has created the whole tragedy. Total responsibility is needed. You have to learn a balance. You know only two things: either you will be a slave or a nuisance. Can't you find a middle course? -- where you are sensible, not nuisance, just sense, and where you are not a slave but pure freedom. Act out of your sensitivity, your freedom, your love -- and I don't think there is any problem: you can manage it. You can go into the mountains and express yourself as loudly as you can -- just to unburden. It helps, it helps immensely. It is a psychological treatment, so just try. Go in the mountains, find a good place, and say everything that you always wanted to say. Don't feel resentful. That will not show your love, your heart. That will simply show a very stupid reaction. You should be a little more understanding. Be kind to people. And kindness costs nothing. Be loving to people, so they can feel at home. Lotuses grow only out of mud.