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2011-02-07 13:33
another day in paradise
haven't written anything for ages. everything as usual thou this is not good for me but i don't want to leave just to think about it makes me sick but i'm sick already. always a nasty comment on my lips, don't know how to be nice anymore. i don't get excited about simple things, i'm close to tears at least once a day, my mind needs 30 seconds to get into the twist of dark thoughts at anytime.. a few wrong words are enough to get me out of balance i don't talk to anybody about things that are important, about things that are going on in my head. i love this place for killing the despair of leaving every place i've ever been to. but it killed everything else with it. i miss nothing more than the feeling to be loved. people i knew that they'd be always there. i know that i can tell them anything.. i know they are not going to tell me i was pathetic. i know that there is nothing that scares me. i'm not insecure, i know what their face expression mean, i know i can be childish or over excited and nobody minds. "i'm just joking" "you just end up giving each other shit" "taugh'n up" i'm always on defence.. Kommentare |
2011-02-07 13:33 |