Live in the present
If you are feeling frustrated, then one has to reconsider things, one has to have courage to reconsider things.
In fact the past binding, cannot be ultimately binding. If you find one day that you are not growing in a certain commitment -- give it all that you can give but if you find that you are not growing, that something is missing, that you don't fit or it does not fit with you -- then one has to be courageous enough to come out of it.
Life is more valuable than your goal. And what does commitment mean. It means that in a certain moment you felt that you were going to be this way for your whole life, but that is the feeling of a certain moment. It was true in that moment but who knows about the next moment?
It is just like falling in love with a woman: you say that you will be with her for your whole life or even if you have another life, you would like to have her as your beloved again. And these are not false words, you are not pretending: you are true, you are authentically so. This is your feeling.
And there is no breach, no betrayal; it simply shows that in that moment you go very very emotionally into it. But you have not grown and now you are feeling like a prisoner: if you remain with it your growth suffers; if you get out of it, you feel guilty. But some decision has to be taken.
One day love happens, another day it disappears; what to do ? What is one supposed to do ? And of course you will remember your promises that you had given to the woman but what can you do now ? You were as helpless that time when you were in love as you are now to get out of it. You have to get out of it otherwise it will be an ugly relationship: you will carry on without love. You will go on pretending that you love this woman because in the past you have promised.
Just the other day I was reading a beautiful story. A jew was very ill. He was a very rich jew but he had never contributed, never donated a single cent. He was really on the death bed, and the doctors told him that he could survive for three more days at the most. They said, 'If you want to do something, do it; we cannot help you. Medicine has failed'.
So just out of desperation the man called the rabbi and told him 'If you pray for me and if I survive, I am going to give you fifty thousand dollars for the new synagogue that you are going to build.'
The rabbi prayed continuously day and night for the three days. Fifty thousand dollars! -- and this man has not even given a single pai to anybody ever! The man survived. One month passed and the rabbi tried diplomatically many times to remind him about those fifty thousand dollars, but he would not even listen! He would not even talk about it; he would avoid the subject.
Finally the rabbi was at a loss what to do. One day he said frankly, 'Have you completely forgotten?! What about those fifty thousand dollars that you promised for the new synagogue? Now you are okay. The miracle happened -- I prayed three days, day in, day out. I didn't sleep.'
The old jew said, 'What fifty thousand dollars? What are you talking about? Did I promise you? That simply shows how ill I was, that's all. That simply shows how ill I was!'
There are moments when one is so ill that one can say 'Fifty thousand dollars!'. There are moments when one gets too emotionally involved in a certain thing, and one can get into it. That's how one lives life!
But this is meaningless. If you are feeling fulfilled, if you are feeling you are growing, go and grow. But if you are feeling that nothing has happened and you have been just a victim, then get out of it! No past can be binding. Have the courage to get out of it. You have become wiser...
Never carry anything that you have outgrown.
You have to be very alert about what you are doing to your being.
Yes, you will feel a little disturbed -- that too is childish; that too is a kind of guilt that society creates in people.
The past is no more! Live in the present and don't think too much of the past because nothing is more valuable than freedom.