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Tagebuch Innocent
2004-06-20 23:41
Gloomy

Right now, I’m just sad and I just cry! I cry, because right now I miss her so much and I’d love to be next to her! She promised to gimme a call, but unfortunately I’m still waiting! And right now I’d need her so much!!
I cry, because I’m scared of my ‘Goodbye’! I’m scared of living there without her and that I can’t stand it! But I’m also scared, that things might change during my appsence…! I don’t want to loose her! I don’t want her to feel that she doesn’t need me anymore! I’m scared that she won’t miss me and that she won’t be looking forward to her visit…!

I just don’t want to go there, but I can’t change it! I just don’t want to leave her…
3 Months are such a long time…

Honestly, yesterday was such a great evening, downtown, we had so much fun! But now, one day later, I’m just sad! My mood changes so fast, it feels like it’s getting out of control!
But we also saw J… and it’s really weird, coz than I always remember what happened! Just a few days ago I also read my memories of the past and especially of our former Dream-Team , - it’s hard to believe that feelings can change that way! And it’s also hard to believe that I’ve actually ever felt that way!
Obviously, she really ment a lot me… and now…, now I hate her more than anything or anyone else …! I just can’t forget and especially can’t forgive what she has done to her!! Till today, I’m always worried when she’s in her proximity! Nevertheless, I want her to be happy and unfortunately it seems like she’d love her so much that she’d never be able to settle this friendship! So, finally I have to accept it, but honestly I think I already did!

>Sometimes I Wake Up Crying At Night And Sometimes I Scream Out Her Name!
What Right Does She Had To Take Her Away, When For So Long, She Were Mine

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2004-06-20 23:41