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2004-07-06 08:47
Homesickness
One week!! I’m here for one week, and honestly I wouldn’t care to go home in just a few days! You know, I’ve been to the City, I’ve been shopping, I’ve been to the Gold Coast, I’ve been fishing… all in all I almost did everything I was actually interested in… so, why should I stay any longer…?!

I know it’s rude to think in that way, but actually it’s just the truth! Honestly I never really wanted to come here, so it’s not suprising at all that I don’t really like it…
Well, of course my relatives are my family in some way, but nevertheless, I don’t really feel comfortable at all…
Every morning when I wake up, I’d just wish that I could stay in bed all day long, and that I don’t have to get up and to be confronted with all of that!

It still takes three weeks until she’ll arrive here…! Three very, very long weeks… I’ve got no idea what I should do all the time… three weeks… and it really seems to me like an endless period of time…

And I miss her so much! I really think of her all the time! And it still makes me cry!

But when she’ll be there, everythings gonna be alright again! When we’ll have the opportunity to spend the time together it’ll be alright again, and than I’ll actually enjoy it… but without her…!

When she’ll be there, we’ll see the really important things - when she’ll be there, that will be the most important weeks and the greatest weeks of my whole stay….
Then at least three weeks will be great, and I’ll probably will always remember…!

But the worst thing and what I’m honestly really scared of, is that I’ll have to stay here for again five endless and lonesome weeks after she returned home..
I’ll really have to try to go home with her - seriously!!!
I know, I should be really thankful to all of them, that I got the opportunity to come here, but actually no one asked me, if I really want to do that, so it should be my decision if I really stay here for such a long time!

Well, I just have to stand the next three weeks without her and than my whole situation will probably change! Then I’ll enjoy the time with her, and then I’ll try to return earlier than everyone expects it… - seriously!!

Honestly I’m almost desperate, and it makes me crazy that I couldn’t talk to her more often just because of the difference of time..
But when I called her yesterday, she actually didn’t sound so happy,… - well, of course, she woke up just a few minutes earlier, but I’ve been really looking forward to hear her voice, and I was actually disappointed that she apparently… did not!
I was so sad, that I actually even got mad of her… just for a few hours of course…
- and actually I know that I’m just so depressed because I miss her so much in every single second…!!
But than, just a few hours later, she also makes me smile again, when she sends me a message…
>>Hey my dear! How are you doing…? What was your day like? I just miss you like crazy! Love you

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2004-07-06 08:47