I am only pretty from the long distance
(I am sorry that I write in English, but I am thinking in that language right now!!!)

I got out with the rat pack. The eastern european version of sex and the city, as you call it. Still, you do not say anything. I try to ignore you. I try to be strong. I am not going to talk to you. I am not going to look at you.

And now comes 7th grade behaviour: There is long look. And it is only and me, on the whole street of freaking Milan, Italy. For three seconds, I can 't hear the Vespas buzzing, the cars' honking, the ambulance screaming. For three seconds my look is clear and it is clear to you. You are the only thing I see, I hear and I think about. I want to run to your arms. I want to hold you, for a while. Be safe, for a minute. For a breath. For a while my heart stops and the world with it. Just because of a look.

All of my friends, tell me that you are not the one. I am starting to believe. What is worst: I start to know. I start to know you are what they say. Still. There are moments like this. And everything I have ever known, falls apart. Everything I ever was, I am throwing over my board. Just to be closer to you.

I pass you. The more I approach, it seems, the less you notice me. Do you only notice me from a distance? Do you only see from far away?

The problem is not me. The problem is you. I am perfect. I am smart. I am funny. I am beautiful. I am everything, you have wished. Still, you only notice me from a distance.

You will never approach. You are to proud. You are to strong. You are to afraid of rejection. I am a girl. I want to conquered by my prince charming. I was hoping you would let me be your princess. Eveidently, you won't.

Eivdently, there is something not so fuckable about me. There is something that is not so great and attractive. Can you not make a move? Can you not at least try?