Like a curse, like a charm
You are back. But the one minute you arrive, the next - you leave.

It was planned in advance - of course. Actually you had a date the minute he took off in the car, left you on the camp site in Italy.

You've looked forward to see him again, because unless the fact that you've still no idea what his intentions are - you knew that there was no backtracking. No way. The kiss had happened and was like an invitation on both sides. It was the promise for more… more kisses, more intimacy, more body contact. And damn… despite being a little bit anxious about it, you were looking forward to experience more kisses, share more intimacy - just for more. Because you already can't get enough of him. You enjoy his companionship, the jokes - the fun of it. You enjoy his attendance and all the time your cell phone beeps a smile creases your lips. It's like a curse, it's like a charm - it's magic.

You drive to him at midnight. Your handbag contains a toothbrush - it would be fooling yourself to pretend that you will find the way home in the same night.

It would be a lie, because two hours after your arrival, it's completely sure that you do not return. Not in the same night and not even in the morning or at midday.

You don't touch in the beginning, it's simply a little bit awkward, but somehow you are sure that it's no longer going to be that way. That it's the last time you'll feel awkward around him.

You drink a beer and later on - during a movie - you switch to wine, which has always been your drink. Like a poison or magic potion that always led to more.

The moment the film starts his hand intertwines with yours, caresses your skin.

Later on it's not just touching, but kissing. Your second kiss and the hundreds.

You can't just get enough of his mouth and luckily - vice versa.

Time passes, your vision is blurry - whether from the alcohol or passion, you are not sure. You just know that it feels good, that it is fun, that you actually enjoy yourself. However you loose your shirt, you loose your pants and nearly every piece of cloth that covers your body. Nearly.

Anyway, in the morning everything will be blurry, like a haze, like watching yourself through a veil and you won't be sure if everything really has happened or just has been part of your imagination or maybe - fantasy.

You don't have sex, but share something that is better than the final act, something every young "couple" should share in the initial phase. Although you are no couple, barely lovers, but lovers without feelings - friends? It's about building trust, a fundament - for everything that's bound to happen. You are no longer two persons, but one.

In the morning you wake up intertwined, with no hint of awkwardness polluting the air.

You are content, satisfied and - happy.

He still can't get enough of your body, your lips… and so the morning - is the morning of knowledge.

You have your answers, though you're still not ready to speak them out loud, give them away.

Anyway, there truly is no backtracking, not anymore.

You can't just deny what's just happened, you can't just pretend things have never been experienced and shared. It would be a lie and so you seek the conversation, talk and solve the one situation you are able to solve - you don't talk to him, but another.